ive been back at school for only a week now. It already feels like the holidays were months ago. Being stressed with school work and relationship is truely putting its toll on me, But at least its all the same.  I have so much to say but i know that my readers would do better with not reading it. I dont feel the same saftey that i once did on this blog. the people i use to trust with it seem to have either turned they heads against me or away from me. Which is alright, you get use to it. But its the fact that i dont have the freedom to express how i feel on here anymore that is screwing with my mind. I will still try and do posts i just need to be more carful with what i write and produce.

oh well, I plan to head out to the grave site this weekend, Finaly go and see him, I had to need to the other day when i worried for someone who hates me, All i could think was would i still be welcome at the funeral or not, It made me think of it all again of the idea of suicide and friends ship.

fuck it
i cant be bothered wriing anymore, Dont even bother trying to contact me or understand this shit, I got some big stuff to deal with tonight and i dont want any interuptions..