I see her tomorrow
I can't wait
But I'm so worried
What if she sees my healing wounds and realizes
What if she finds out that I'm weak at times
What if she notices that there is a change that I'll fail again
What if she feels my chest and I flinch away
What if she grabs my shoulder and I have to grid my teeth
What if the scabs break and she feels and sees my blood failing

What if I have already fucked up by cutting in the first place