just sent this to a mate

"will you be at school tomorrow"

"

yeah idn if ill be there

i lied
im not fine
im not ok
i no its coming
i feel worse every day
i really wanted you to be here
so i had someone
someone important
to talk my foolish and fucked mind of it
but i no it
i dont want it
i cant have it
but i feel it
deep inside
the need
i dont know how much longer i can support every one
i need to finish my book so when im gone you all have somthing to keep u pushing

i just dont know any more


im sorry

you have so much more then i can ever imagin
and im here cracking in front of you

ive fucked up

alot"