Day 11

The days seem to be joining and flying by,
No difference.
Everyday the bad news just keeps coming.
There is no way out.
No way to escape.
I can feel myself slipping,
Slipping into space,
My head is not grounded,
My heart is going crazy.
Every minute I am falling away from the world even more.
I need someone who understands who can help but doesn't need me to tell them anything.
Where is She?
When with she arrive?

Day 10

I am sick of having these emotions,
All I can do is cut them out of me, and even then it is only a small amount of happiness
To many people have bigger issues then me, from now on I will not impact on my friends lives with me problems,

This is my life and I will take charge and control it!

day 9

I feel better when i am with my friends
but when im alone is when the darkness comes
With ever thought comes another scare,
the warm red blood slithers down my arm
and all i can think about is what else is to come in my life

Is it worth pushing on?
Is there somthing at the end to make it all worth it?

Im scared to be alone,
thats when i feel like im going to die.
Thats when i can think.
The silence will kill us all
and truth with be the blade.

Day 8

It's all a lie!

There is no light at the end of the tunnel,
For so long I believed it would get better, but everything is just turning to shit
I'm slipping, the pain is getting th better of me,
We all put up these walls around our friends but I wish, no I beg just one would realize that it is starting to take control
Everyday more scars appear and more blood is spilt
Everyday I lay here starring at the roof thinking how and when will it get better,
When will the promises I was told come true

Day 7

I just wanna find someone who can be with me and I will not had to fuck around with these little games!
Nothing but heart has come from every one I have loved, betrayal, pain, destruction
All of it from my stupid decisions
How can life be so difficult
I just don't know if I can keeping going on living these days
I love so many and get hurt by them everyday
I have always have to be seen as a strong man
Havnt cried in three years
It all seems to be bottling up and all coming out over these holidays!
Sorry for bad spelling and what not I'm on my iPod again

day 6 (sorry about bad spelling its lik 2 in the morning)

Love makes us numb

Makes us forgetful and depresed,

but i still seem to long for that one person
siting here in my room and all i can do is think of the life and love i am missing.
i just wish it was easier,
why do we have these feelings when we know it would never work out with that person

love will not save us

love leaves nothing but blood spilling and destruction

love has coursed the scars i have these days
the scars that will never faid
there to deep
to emotionaly attached to me.

i need someone
someone to love me
be with me
someone that can deal with my shit
someone that can be a friend
but most of all
someone who will make me believe in a life that will be better then the one i have now.

Day 5

It all comes to an end
I can feel my actions effecting others
Can we ever stop negative things happening?
Why do we feel like this
Why do I feel like it is time to give up?

Sorry if this is bad using my iPod
Try to keep on loving

day 4

pain is felt by all by that one moment were ur heart gets broken, the pain is huge
the destruction one person has coursed today could change everything,
something i felt was safe has be taken away from me and shall be seen as bad memories from now on,
we all try to see the good in a situation but sometimes it is easier so walk into the darkness,
the abyss,

love shouldnt be tosted around like some other word,

scabs may heal
scars will fade
but a broken heart will never be fixed
how many times can a heart be broken before we are aloud to just give up?
fuck it, i think im done with this,
done with trying to make people like me
done with the shit of others
done with being a nice person

Liz

"moonlight revealed the tree's hidden silhouette. The decaying branches and falling leaves seemed so peaceful and still."

Liz lay comfortably against the aged willow tree, Liz scribbling down its stories and beauty into the notes in her diary, an eerie moan escaped a dark figure approaching from behind the tree ancient body, liz jumped at the abruptness of the noise, demolishing her train of thought and catching her off guard. She breathed heavily and turned around to face the mysterious body.The blurred  figure had a small limp and looked extremly lost almost  as if he was trying to find something but was in the totally wrong area. As he approached Liz, she noticed the flesh peeling of his face, his organs dangling out of an extreme gash from his stomach.

Liz starts to call out to this man, " Are you ok? What is wrong?"

The man spins and locks on to Liz, Starts to charge towards her both arms out screaming, yelling. He had blood and skin falling, dripping from his lips every time he screamed, chunks flying everywhere, all over his tattered and ripped clothing, Liz stumbles back scared of this dead looking man running at her, He was only a few meters away now, Liz could see his dark green eyes, he lunched towards her, sinking his teeth deep into her neck, blood spurting all over, it covered this flesh eating zombies face, Liz felt her heart suddenly beat extremely quickly it wouldn't stop, the zombie bit harder, she struggled tried to push him off but didn't have enough strength, she was pushed back into the dirt surrounding the tree as the zombie lowered his head, started ripping at her rips eating the flesh and meet from each bone, Liz screamed out in pain, kneeing the zombie in the face  but nothing seemed to work the zombie just dug deeper into her warm, bloody body, chomping through organs, shrieking  in between bites, the grass was stained with her blood, her heart started to slow and eventually stopped, suddenly to zombie raised and left the body of Liz to rot.

the zombie stumped on away from the moon lit tree as another mysterious groan came from that direction.

Day 3...

Day 3

I am haunted by the decisions I have made in the past every day,
every night ,
every waking minute.
no matter how many scares, burns or bruises.
The pain from that one question has ruined my life,
everything I do, I now do because of that one day.

I can take getting punched or kicked but contributing to hurting something has destroyed me.
some days I can't deal with life. sitting there life passing by and the one thing I will be remembered for is that one horrible choice.

I am haunted by the decisions I have made so don't act to quickly but don't be to slow and let it all slip away.

Day 2

Day 2

The world we live in is full of pain and sorrow but the emotions we would never be able to enjoy the happier time in our lives.

Death maybe be closing in but it doesn't mean you should waste your last days regretting.

Don't regret anything.

All mistakes lead to something better in life.

Day 1

Jamesy Pants

day 1


With every victory arises a defeat.
It seems that as soon as anyone gets back to the feet another huge, unstoppable object comes speeding towards them just to keep them on the ground.
My life has change dramatically since the events that took place on the 7th/7/2010.
The way I live my life has been destroyed and now controlled from the destructive things that only two people can do.

Make sure you don’t hurt anybody for you don’t know what your actions may do later on in life.
Do not hurt because you are hurting,
Do not strike because you have been struck
Do not push because you have been pushed
Do not ever forget your friends because in the end they are your true and only family.